ive been crying fer 5 days straight now..nn its strating 2 get obvious 2 some..i reli dun noe how 2 ans dem wen most of de tym dey wuld comment dat im nawt myself lately...dey notice mi mwore den i notice myself..i mean,i seemed 2 try 2 act normal evriday...ya noe,lyk nth actuali apened?



but i gues i jus cant hide it...dat terrible feelin of some1 missing in my life..a veri special some1..
my eyes r VERI droopy ryte noow...evryday i sleep at 11..nn i neber did gave my eyes a break..evry mornin in de bus i read my notes,in de canteen b4 assemblin at de parade sqr,reading period,at home...haiss...

&& i finaly talked 2 zul 2day =') reli missed that voice of his...it was as if he was just right beside mie...i felt reli sorie,wen i overhead him arguing wit his mom becoz of his brother...he reli shuldnt get de blame..&& hearing de sounds of de beating he got..it hurts mie alot too..nn i feel so hopeless dat i wasnt literally there fer him wen he reli needs a hug..
to here him just there right beside mie crying...i reli felt lyk cryin too!=(

so im still awating fer de day 2 come....wen i can finally giv uu dat hug..
Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuzI can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it

bye lev~

comment? / top

i tink its pretty obvious tat im not muc of an avid blogger tis yr as u can tell..
tings had been kinda rough during my ferst 3 mnths in sec4 year..
&& jus to let u guys noe..my dad found out bout us lyk las sat..definitly he went bersurk bout it dat ive been lying to him ol tis tym..but he den bcame more disappointed wit mi than angry..i was disappointed wit mysef too then..

ol the while he scolded mi ol i culd do is sigh coz ol de tings he told had bn sed b4 many a tymes..so i started cryind n asked him if he wants mie to breakup wit zul now..my dad wanted 2 mit him..nn im very proud dat zul is suc a courages nn sincere person 2 come punctualy yest at 8..i made him tea,&& we sat in such a formal arrangement..one side of de sofa was mi&zul, the other was my mom&dad..so yar my dad told zul de same tings he told mie b4 n ol zul did was nodded..respectful isnt he..but der was one part tat triggered me wen my dad says dat he actually has a gd feeling bout tis coz he tinks dat its probably gona turn out well one day..

den wen i sent zul to de bustop,ol we did was tok && tried 2 laugh coz it wuld b our last miting in 3weeks..we didnt hold hands,we didnt hug..ol we gave eac other was a flyin kiss thru the window wen he got in de bus..as de bus faded away from my sight,i felt tat veri moment as if de werld was gona come crashing down on me..i went home nn acted as if none of tat had happened..&& as i was studyin fer physics,i duno y,i started crying wen im actuali supossed 2b hapi dat my parents r giving mi a rare chance of haivn a bf at tis age..their planned age fer us 2 haf one was actualli 21..crazy as it seems,its wat dey think..nn i cant deny tat it was for the gd..after only one whole day of study3 & no ZuL's voice,i REALLY miss him alot okey..

The changes ive made now was kinda drastic compared 2 these past 3 mnths..usuali i wuld jus had done my hw nn dats it..but now its lyk,in de bus,reading period,waiting tym,straight after skul,i had took everi opportunity today 2 study my physics nn even tried changing my body clock wic didnt werk coz im not a night person..woke up wit a headache nn could absorb anytin..
yes.....its true......i'd do anytin....ANYTIN 2 get 2b wit him...whateever it takes.....

just dun fade away frm my arms bcoz of tis.....
we've gone thru so muc 2gede,but ders still more 2 come.....
without u,i dun tink i wuld haf tis motivation 2 do it....
i really love youu...<33
&& i miss eu so muc X(

!bye lev

comment? / top

comment? / top

as promised:LUNCHTIME CONCERT;5TH MARCH;SWEET SIXTEEN AYU X)

so after skul,mi nn aida went straight in2 gerls' room 2 chng in2 our concert outfit nn bof of us rushed 2 tm 2 buy green papers fer ayu's bday card..it was last min ting nn just our luck,it started rainin heavily..zul sed dat he saw us runnin 2 tm nn he hid bhind a wall,it was a surprise fer mie tt his cumin soo yar..dats y he hid -,- yeah niways,we ran bak tryin 2 find de closest walkways under shelter nn called fad 2 pick us up wit my umbrella under de blok infront of de skul..de security guard caught us coz he tot we were outsiders..hate tat guy SO0 muc!

went up 2 de hall nn passed by zul,rushdi nn azmi..reli pai sey i tell uu since bof of us were soakin wet! got reli nervous bhind stage nn panicked wen phoned sabby nn didnt pick up..so went out of de back stage nn saw he nn iffah holding de cake..tried to light de candles but bcoz of de windy rain,it took us lyk 5mins..went in de hall nn ayu was olredi cryin,touchin moment..sand hapi bday song nn hugged her..so went bhind de bak stage agaen nn tried 2 loosen up ourselves since we were so tensed! faiz n his crap as owes,wat a nonsensical guy..wic is a gd ting thoX)
so it was our turn,crack my voice e few times here nn der..but ppl kept commenting bout my screamin wic is a bad ting coz it means,my singing sux~!

haf 2 practice on tat..so sunday jammin was cancelled i duno y n wat dat tompok has on tt day but he sed it was a reli seirous matter so yeah wadever..15 march gig is cancelled,stupid organiser..hafir is tryin 2 get another one but i duno hoooww,nn he sed dat der r nwo march gigs..we cant make it on april coz plannin on enterin anugerah muzika nn its nearing our mid-year!! hais,reli frustrated..ART sux

yest,watched leap years wit zul..cant believe wat an emotional story it was..wat more a singaporean film..lots of ppl cried in de theatre wic was gd so tat i wont feel embarrassed wen i cried too..after de movie,hung out wit zul..den went off at 615..had a wonderful day os olwes X)
dad juz went off 2 kl fer his gig der till monday..thx fer havin my bak..=)

!bye lev

comment? / top

skip art remedial 2day,plan 2 go 2moro instead coz we reli need jammin prac 2 day 2 prepare fer wednesday lunchtym concert..i dun reli get it but b4 las sat,we olwes start off okey...but now everytym we jus start playin we cock up lyk hell sa,su werried fer wed nn 15march..
yar nn i realise tt if we r not hapi nn dun put ani enthu in it,it wont turn out gd laa...after few mwore practices,i haf 2 say tt it was okey fer ferst tymers lyk us hu haf no experiance at ollll...
so ppl pls giv us ur fullest support ah,will reli apweciate it kayss X)
bryan's gona come nn help us out wit guitar since edwin got rmemdial on wed so canwot play wit us..
aiyaaa 2moro got art remedial...jus RELI3 hate it oke!DESPISE!!ya i noe its a harsh werd but art is interfering lyk olmos half of my lyf while the other half wuld b de other 7 subjs!

haiyaa...
will update bout wed..wish us luck!
go lavender approx (witout edwin)

!bye lev

comment? / top

so lyk FINALI i get 2 update my blogg! i haf a new comp but 2nd hand..
but hu cares i still can use it yeah!XD
went 2 haf brekafast wit ma bebs tis mornin nn i was de latest 2 arrive..
1st tym it isnt nisaXD so den we went 2 ayu's house 2 make ove
nisa nn zara..damn fun laa i make their hair..ofcoz ver nyce ryteXD
den de stylist oso got their hair perm by aida,gerls will olwes b gerls..
exception fer my dear iffahXD

den we went jammin,nn de rquipments n gadgets were horrible sa..
so muc feedbak ol over de room..nn our previous jam practice was
soo muc better den 2day,mayb coz de gals came along haha..kiddin2X)
kay so den afte dt went vivo nn watch nisa perforrm..the other groups
power saaa,,made me wana join dance to0!

comment? / top